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Monday, September 12, 2011

Of Dreams and Dancers outline


Outline: Dreams and Dancers (opening)


OP: Have you listened to ‘For a Dancer’ or read ‘A Dream Deferred’?
       CM: after listening to these songs, I wondered how they’d ever apply to me
       CM: I was surprised what came to my mind as I wrote
       CS: after you read this essay, maybe you could think for a bit and see how it relates to you



OUTLINE: Dreams and Dancers (1st body)

Sentence #1: Topic Sentence (TS)
              Example TS:  The poem ‘The Dream deferred’ and the song ‘For a Dancer’ remind me of certain events of my life.

Sentence #2: 1st Supporting Detail (SD), with transition
              Example SD1:  I wished I could go to ‘Lego land’ when I was little

Sentence #3: Commentary (CM) on the SD
              Example CM1:  this wish was deferred many times due to money or distance


Sentence #4: Another commentary (CM) on the SD
              Example CM2: I did not let this dream die, I tried to collect coupons and find the right time to visit, and eventually it worked out! Like a sugary sweet


Sentence #5: 2nd Supporting Detail (SD), with transition
              Example SD2: I have learned not to put off homework


Sentence #6: Commentary (CM) on the 2nd SD
Example CM1:  after the D.C trip we were supposed to make an album


Sentence #7: Another commentary (CM) on the 2nd SD
              Example CM2:  I did it at the last second, and it was dry in detail

Sentence #8: 3rd Supporting Detail (SD), with transition
              Example SD3: in a way, this poem reminds me of the song ‘for a dancer’


Sentence #9: Commentary (CM) on 3rd SD
              Example CM1:  after hearing about how it was based on his wife’s suicide, it made me think about all the dreams she could not have done/finished

Sentence #10: Commentary (CM) on 3rd SD
              Example CM2:  in ‘TDD’ it stated how an abandoned dream would wither and ‘explode’ into nothingness

Sentence #11: Concluding Sentence (CS)
              Example CS:  in conclusion, I really like how this poem relates to me. It helps me understand the poem better






OUTLINE: (2nd body)
Bell:

Echo:

Sentence #1: Topic Sentence (TS)
              Example TS:  I can relate lines of the song to my life

Sentence #2: 1st Supporting Detail (SD), with transition
              Example SD1: ‘Don't let the uncertainty turn you around
(The world keeps turning around and around)
Go on and make a joyful sound’ reminds me of the times I wrote essays on my own opinions

Sentence #3: Commentary (CM) on the SD
              Example CM1:  sometimes I write in a certain way, but halfway through the essay I will change my mind and write the other half differently


Sentence #4: Another commentary (CM) on the SD
              Example CM2:  however, after my mom helped me, I have become able to connect both of my ideas in an understandable way


Sentence #5: 2nd Supporting Detail (SD), with transition
              Example SD2: ‘Just do the steps that you've been shown
By everyone you've ever known’ is like the many ‘how to draw manga’ guides and comics of many cartoonists help me to draw better every day.

Sentence #6: Commentary (CM) on the 2nd SD
Example CM1: ‘Until the dance becomes your very own’ describes how after practicing to draw for a while I finally got my own ideas and elements to add to my art


Sentence #7: Another commentary (CM) on the 2nd SD
              Example CM2: ‘In the end there is one dance you'll do alone’ soon my art became my own style. Now my cartoons have unique stories that are not based on other stories

Sentence #8: 3rd Supporting Detail (SD), with transition
              Example SD3: ‘I must have thought you'd always be around
Always keeping things real by playing the clown
Now you're nowhere to be found’


Sentence #9: Commentary (CM) on 3rd SD
              Example CM1:  this line reminds me of the fact that I will be leaving soon to go to new places and new friends

Sentence #10: Commentary (CM) on 3rd SD
              Example CM2:  I will miss some of my friends that brightened up my day; hopefully they will not be ‘nowhere to be found’

Sentence #11: Concluding Sentence (CS)
              Example CS:  this song inspired me to fulfill my dreams and make others and yourself happy, because you never know when you will go.






Outline: Dreams and dancers (conclusion)

OP: These literary works really relate well to me
       CM: did you see any of my points relate to you?
       CM: you should see the lyrics and read them for yourself
C:  you might surprise yourself

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